(Source: superglenntot)
An old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, “Listen,your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up.
Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister.
She says, “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” and calls her father immediately. “You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don’t call a lawyer, don’t file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.
The old man turns to his wife and says “Okay, they’re coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.”
(Source: superglenntot)
(Source: superglenntot)
GF: Babe, di na ko magtatagal, logout na ko kasi nagagalit na si Mama eh. Isusubsob daw nya mukha ko sa keyboard kapag hindi pa ko umalis ngayon.
BF: Ay gusto pa kita maka-chat eh :(
GF: Di na pede babe kasi isusubahdjkahnvaw jkvhahfjka JKH JKhew kjBJDK kjhJK5228hj k;kgl;s;lsk,fl;ky.rt,my.keb l;erktel;klukl;tru567s5 7w4’kl;,k76pi87;6kr8kn5i7n;’4l’kvb ; lswk75plij;pkjl;[hnse6b7ufh fdsgs
(Source: superglenntot)
(Source: superglenntot)
(Source: superglenntot)
PEDRO: Pare, buntis yung gf ko, pero palagi naman ako gumagamit ng condom. :(
JUAN: Tara kaibigan, ipapaliwanag ko.
PEDRO: Sige.
JUAN: May isang lalake umakyat ng gubat na may dala-dalang payong. Ngayon, nakakita siya ng isang malaking tigreng papalapit. Kinalabit niya ang pindutan ng payong niya at namatay ang tigre.
PEDRO: Hahaha! Imposible naman yun pare! Baka may ibang tumira sa tigre!
JUAN: Exactly..
1. Stop the communication.
2. Throw every single piece of memory.
3. Delete stupid pictures.
4. Delete every single text.
5. Forget the feeling.
It is not being BITTER.
It’s just being fair enough to the next person who will try to be the one for you..
(Source: superglenntot)
(Source: superglenntot)
